I <3 REM

Sometimes, I feel I am going crazy with everything happening around me. Then I realize Rem must be feeling worse than me. But when I look at him, his precious smile, his contant nag for scartching, I would never think that he suffered sucj injury. His level of strength is unbelievable. Everytime he is in pain, he tries not to show me and my Mom what he is feeling. I think he knows we worry about him too much. So he tries to hide it from us as much as he can. Everytime a tear falls down his cheek, we know he cannot bear his pain and this is when we worry even more. A Tylenol here and there can solve his physical pain. But, me, my Mom and everyone who's supporting and praying for him can solve the emotional pain he must be going through right now.

Taking care of him, I realize, is such second nature now. I attend to his every need and want. The great thing about it is that it does not stress me out. Not at all. I never feel pity for my brother. Instead, I feel great admiration for his courage to face such uncertain future, for his optimism that everything will be fine, and for his faith that GOD will heal him.

Summer of 2006: A Blur

Rem and I had so many plans this summer. Skydiving on his birthday, white water rafting, eat out at restaurants he has never tried before. All that changed on July 7, 2006. Everything, his life and our lives turned 360 degrees.

Rem met an accident on our way to Calgary. Prognosis: c5-c6 bilateral dislocation complete spinal cord injury. It left him paralyzed from nipple down. His wrists were affected as well. Dcotors said he only has 1% chance of walking again.

Over the past month and a bit, the hospital became my second home. Mom had to fly here to take care of him. We spent 10 days in Calgary after his surgery (to re-align his spine). Rem was in ICU most of the time, a tube forced into his throat due to breathing problems brought by the injury. We flew back to Vancouver on July 17. Tube was still there, he had to stay in ICU. The swelling of his spinal cord went upwards one day and it made his right arm (which he could move for 3 weeks after the accident) numb and motorless. That was scarier. Rem got depressed the day he found out about his MRI results. Doctors had to do a tracheotomy on his on the third week because they were scared the tube might infect his vocal cord. They had to slice/make an incision on his throat to put the tube in. I bet it hurt like crazy. I could see the pain on his face.

As each day passed by, Rem showed progress. It may be small progress, but at least he was improving. Finally, on August 9, he was moved out of the ICU into the spine unit of Vancouver General Hospital.

I truly admire my brother. He has become my hero, everyone's hero. His strength and positivity really hit me hard. Most of the time, I feel weak and helpless, but whenever I look at Rem, I feel embarrassed. He is the one with the injury yet he remains calm and optimistic about things. His renewed faith in the Lord, I believe, is the main reason he has been improving. The Lord's presence is greatly felt in his room. Prayers, love and support of family and friends are blessings to begin with; they keep him from being depressed and make him keep fighting.

Our lives have changed overnight, but it does not mean Rem's life would be like this forever. It may be a long road to recovery, but with his family, friends and the Lord with him, I am pretty sure Rem will be able to pull through this.

Thank you for everyone who has been praying...